Once in our lives we will be in a situation where we cry ourselves to sleep, where the moment you wake up, you’d rather go back to sleep than have another day feeling the pain, remembering all the memories and asking yourself what went wrong with the relationship that was once so near to perfection and was once the kind you thought will withstand all the rough roads. Now you’re wondering how you’re going to pick yourself up after a breakup.
It is really hard for the person who was left behind because it means you still love him and if it was you, you will never choose to give up, but he left you with no choice but to feel the pain and wonder how will be your life now.
I can feel you, my dear, because I’m going through that. I actually can’t say that I’m all okay now but at least I’m surviving. 🙂
Having said all that, I want to share with you the ways I’m doing that help me to survive. This is not guaranteed because moving on must start with your conviction and willingness to take yourself out from the hole you’ve been trapped in, but these ways might be of help. So, lets do this together. 🙂
Ways to Pick Yourself Up After a Breakup
1. Feel the pain and ignore what other people will say.
Because truth is, you’re the only person who knows how much it really hurts.
Feel it. Feel the pain of all the promises you held for so long that only got broken. Feel it until you’ve run out of tears. Feel it until the time you think you’ve glued all the broken pieces back together, though the marks remain undeniable.
Feel it until it no longer hurts. Ask yourself all the whys, hows and whats because someday it will be answered. Just feel it because it will make you feel better in the long run.
2. Delete all the pictures you have with him.
Or if you can’t do it for now, at least place it somewhere you won’t see it.
This can be painful because you’ll see everything. All the memories will come back to you like a flood. All the laughs, the kilig, the happiness it once brought to your life.
And I know you already knew it that happy memories are the ones that gonna crush your heart to pieces and this one will prove that right. If you’ll find yourself crying a river while doing this, just do it anyway. Continue. Cry. Delete.
3. Bond with your friends.
Use this time to make up on all your missed laughs, occasions, moments with them back when your still crazy, madly in love with your ex and all you want to do was to spend time with him and your friends became out of the picture.
Remember, they’re the ones whom you can turn to anytime, anywhere. So building memories with them is a treasure.
4. Assess the relationship you had.
Try to figure out at least those things that you can admit to yourself that you did wrong. Those things you think that if you’ve done right, the relationship would’ve been different.
I’m telling you this for you not to blame yourself but to learn from it. So that the next time love comes knocking your door, you will be a better person and a better partner.
5. Pick yourself up after a breakup by making yourself busy.
Go try new things or go back to the things you’ve left because you became preoccupied with all the kiligs you had with your past relationship.
You love writing/sharing your thoughts? Go start a blog (just like what I did. Yay!). You love colors? Go start to paint. You love lettering? Go and try the new trend, Calligraphy. You want to be adventurous? Go hiking!
There is so much more in life where you can put your time and mind than wasting it grieving and regretting and thinking of the person who chose to leave you.
6. Look on the bright side of things.
Being single is not bad after all. Try eating alone in a restaurant. Try sitting in a café drinking your favorite caramel macchiato while reading a book. Try watching a movie all by yourself.
Try everything you want to do without having to ask for permission from someone. You’ll love the freedom. With this, you’ll also know yourself. You’ll learn what you’re capable of doing without relying with someone else.
And, you must learn to be alone before you can really appreciate being in a committed relationship.
7. Take good care of yourself.
This is not just about going to salon, having a massage or going for a retail therapy. This is more about looking to yourself as a piece of stone going to a process of crushing, molding, burning to become one precious diamond.
Improve yourself by addressing your weaknesses. If your not good in communicating, go and don’t be afraid to join a club or community where they help you improve your communication skills.
Boost up your strengths by doing what you love and where you think you can excel. Really take good care of yourself so someday, you can take care of the other person well.
8. Read uplifting books.
Self-help books are really helpful if you will just put every words into your heart and mind. It will make yourself more positive and inspite of the pain you are feeling right now, you will be happy at the end of the day. Your optimism and cheerfulness will be a huge help in overcoming this struggle in your life.
Try to read “Happier Self 365 Means to a Better Life” by C.C. Salonga. It has all these wonderful ways of loving yourself and choosing happiness. Also, you can try to read “Paano ba ‘to?! How to Survive Growing Up” by Bianca Gonzalez and you’ll love everything in this book.
You can count on the things in these books because those are charged to experience, authors’ been there done that. 🙂
9. Just like what others say, it's all in the mind.
Yes, I know it’s easier said than done but if you’ll only focus your mind on things that will help you move on, you can really do it. Whenever a memory flashes back to me, I always, as in always cry. But I also immediately change the focus of my mind to other things, like work or my small sideline business.
Practice yourself to do this and eventually, it will be automatic for your mind. Teach yourself as well that everything about your last relationship is now only a part of your past and you don’t want your precious self to be staying there miserable. The world revolves and go tag yourself along to how it moves.
10. Become more closer to God.
This is the most important thing that I’ve been doing and will definitely do my entire life. I promise this to you, aside from yourself, He is the only one who can help you uplift your spirit and heart. Read all these verses and scriptures that will remind you that He is by your side All. The. Time.
Believe that whatever is happening in your life, it is His will. He is in control. Have faith in Him and all His promises. Anything He wants you to go through, He will definitely deliver you through it. You will come out of this as one better individual that He wants and designs you to be.
Once you incorporate this in your life, nos. 1 – 9 will become easy for you to do. Sometimes I find myself teary-eyed whenever I passed through some words from Him because I feel like He’s saying those straight to me, and the love you’ll feel is so overwhelming. Those broken pieces of your heart will come back together as if it never got broken.
And once it happened and you’re ready, He will give you the person He pre-destined for you to be with for the rest of your life. This person will love you wholeheartedly, will give you unlimited chances of loving him right, who will not see your mistakes but the ways you are changing for yourself and for him and whose love for you will definitely stand the test of time and even distance.
I’m gonna share with you two of my favorite uplifting words/promises of God that you can hold on to while going through this tough time of your heart…
“‘I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born.’ says the Lord.” – Isaiah 66:9
“‘For I know the plans I have for you.’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” – Jeremiah 29:11
Take this experience as a way of growth and maturity. Take this as one step closer to the person He destined for you. Grow with it. Learn from your mistakes. Love yourself even more. Know that you are not perfect, but you are enough. Turn your mistakes into a medium going to a better you.
I also want to remind you not to be hateful. Being angry will only boils down to you. It will not make you happy nor it will make you move on. It will just prolong the process of your healing heart. Like what people said: Maybe they’re not bad person, it’s just that that’s how long they’re really meant to stay in your life.
I know it hurts so much but that pain, that struggle, will make your heart even more stronger. You can move on. You will forget about him. You will be better.
Kaya mo yan! Kaya natin yan! Cheers to a better us!
0 thoughts on “How to Pick Yourself Up After a Breakup”
Very good! Nice blog. Just correct some spelling I think on the last sentence of point #7. Other than that, it’s definitely good! Thumbs up!
Thank you soooo much, sir! 🙂
Nice LISTEN! Very good blog! *clap *clap. While i was reading your blog, i thought your talking to Madam Jeiz. ????
Thank you, Listen! 🙂 I hope Jeiz already have read this. She can definitely relate. hehe
hi ann! naalala mo pa ako? ako ung kaofficemate ni daryl sa AGSGI heheh. ganda ng blog mo! 🙂 keep up!!! gagayahin kita ha magboblog din ako pero di ko sure kung makakagawa ako ng magandang blog heheheh haahhaha. ayun lang.. galing mo. 🙂
Oo naman. Tanda kita Jen. hehe Thank you, thank you muchooo. :* Yup, start kna. Im sure magaling ka. 🙂 Masaya magblog. hehe
I wish I have read this few years back when I’m trying to recover myself after a break up. Hihi
haha I’m sure even without this you were able to move on, sis. Thanks for dropping by! 🙂
Become more closer to God.. i guess that’s the best advice… I always remind myself that God has a plan for me.. so when problems like this arrive, you just have to go to the flow and let Him guide you.. if a relationship didn’t work out as you expect, God has better plan….who knows, after the break up, God is working out for a best love story for you right?
thanks for sharing
Yes. I am positive that the best is yet to come. Thanks for dropping by, bro. 🙂
Hi Ann.
I’ve been on this side of the relationship too, the one who gets left behind and I know for a fact how painful it can be. You have an amazing list dear but I’d like to add something if you don’t mind. Travel. Out of everything that I tried, traveling is the one that really helped me the most. It helped me put things into perspective, made me realize that my problem or heartbreak is too small compared with the rest of the world. It humbled me and made me appreciate life more. 🙂
Couldn’t agree more that travelling is indeed a great way to overcome whatever you’ve been going through! It is just recently that I was able to go travelling and I’m looking forward for more. I’m also doing hiking which reconnects me to nature and made me more appreciative. 🙂 Thanks, sis, on your additional point! God bless 🙂
May mga humuhugot dahil Feb hahaha! Well, I do agree with Marjorie. Soul Searching!
hahahaha February feels it is! lol Thanks for dropping by 🙂 God bless!
These are good tips. I have been to several breakups but I’m thanking God that all of them were for some good reasons. One night cry is always enough for me. I’m good at moving on. And I’m proud of that.
Thanks for dropping by, sis. Cheers to empowered women like us! 🙂
Literally a HUGOT post! I agree to everything in here. Been to a breakup before after a long year relationship. Good thing i didnt had a hard time moving on. This blog post goes to those who are havinga hard time. Good points!
hahahaha I wrote this blog during those time that I cry whenever I remember everything and this was my extension of my feelings. 😀 Anyhow, I must say that I’m okay now. Part of growing up. hehe Thanks, sis! 🙂
Oh the FEELS. I wish I read this when I had my last heartbreak a few years ago… Fortunately, after doing all that (or at least I did keep myself busy and focused on friends and God and my family), time eventually healed it as well 🙂
Couldn’t agree more, sis! Time really heals and I must say everything’s going okay now. Thanks! 🙂
I never experienced a breakup because I married my first boyfriend and we were bf/gf for 12 years before we tied the knot. But we went through some tough times especially when at one point we got to experience LDR. Had a few heartaches but God has always been at the center of our relationship which made us overcome the trials.
You’re one lucky woman! Not everyone get to marry their first boyfriend. But anyways, pain and challenges are good thing in some ways. 🙂 Thank you!
This is definitely the breakup go to guide! Hope all is well. x
Regards,
R x
Yes. Everything’s alright now. 🙂 Time heals. hehe Thanks and God bless 🙂
A very good article. I’m looking forward to a strong relationship in the future since I’m too young to make a mistake again haha.
Yeah. Make sure you’re ready emotionally before you enter a relationship. And pray for it. 🙂 Thanks, sis!
I have tried these tips before and it helped me in a way. I found my own way how to deal with break-ups. If you want, you can view it here (it’s a guest post I made for Cess). But these are really the basic ways of dealing with breakups. Looking on the bright side of things really help uplift our emotions.
Yeah! I agree. You will really find your own way in dealing with your heartbreak. At dadating yung time na tatawanan mo nalang yung mga iniyak mo. hahaha Thanks, sis! 🙂
This is all great break up advice. I read this book called its called a break up because it’s broken; that’s saved me through a lot of this pain. I love your tips a lot each are really clever and helpful
I’m currently reading Reflections of a Man by Mr. Amari Soul and it made me realize a lot, especially about the value of women’s love. Thanks for dropping by, sis! 🙂
You’re a brave woman, and what you are going thru will only make you braver and better. Time will heal, and as you continue w/ your journey with God, He can either restore this relationship or bring you a new but better one. The more you spend time w/ God, the sooner you can move on and tell him the next time you bumped into each other and say “who you?” (joke).
hahahaha thanks, sir! The “who you?” made me laugh. Great idea, though. hihi God bless po! 🙂
Thanks for writing this. I’m sure you’ve helped a lot of recently broken up couples survive the pain/ kudos!
I really hope so since aside from this post being an extension of my feelings when I posted it, another reason I did so was because I want others to know that they’ll get through it. 🙂 Thanks as well for dropping by, sis.
Awesome read! Very timely haha. Thank you so much for sharing!
My breakup murdered a huge part of me. It was so bad that I blamed myself even if I shouldn’t because I couldn’t find anything I did wrong. It went so bad that I tried to become evil so that I can just think that all of these happened because I’m evil. I did a lot of crazy things.
I’ve said this once to a friend. Sometimes you don’t move on, you Move Forward… And allow yourself to be the best thing you’ve yet to become. Break ups aren’t the best thing in the world, yet I believe you’re doing a great job. And yes, get closer to God. He will never break up with us. God bless love! Time to soar.
❤ There’s More to Mica // http://www.micadeleon.com
I’m so with you on this. Strongly agree on #6, #7 & #9…. these 3 alone had gotten me out of my traumatic aftermath of breakup long back… Way to go:)
Books, friends and beer! Did the trick. Good pointers, the kilig moments fades, the memories cuts like glass now. But hey, keep your chin up! Move forward, maybe the past relationship is just a lesson so we can do better in the next one.
When I got my heart broken, I watched Mama Mia countless of times in a single day and cried every time Meryl Streep sings “The Winner takes it all” {you can probably guess why I got my heart broken here}. Then, I went to Tagaytay the day after. I am happy on the 3rd day but it took me a while to completely heal. ????
Sharing this on FB! I wish I read this article 2-3 years ago.
Hala! i can’t relate that much because I haven’t been in a relationship. But everything written here makes sense. Good read! So much hugot! haha (raftermanguiat.com)
OMG. Haha. Will share it to my bitter friends. Hoping that this post will help them. ????
Moving on is hard to. What matter is after the break up, you should pick yourself up and take care of yourself.
Ah the art of moving on. Even though we all have our different ways of moving on, these are great tips! Things will always get better, all in good time 😀
You’re such a strong woman! Letting go and moving on at the same isn’t that easy. Sometimes what we need is just to feel the pain for us to stop and totally move on!
When I experience my first heartbreak, I didn’t knew that it would hurt that much! And keeping myself busy is the greatest thing to do during those times. Friends helped me a lot as well!
For me, #10 is enough. God is the solution, turn to Him, He heals the broken-hearted. I personally haven’t had my hear broken yet, but when I was lost and didn’t know what direction to take in in marriage, He got me back on track and now it’s smooth sailing.